Searching for love again
by kissesbyme
Summary: Jack and Rose both survived the sinking, but they don't know that the other is alive. Meanwhile Cal has found Rose on the Carpathia and forced her again to marry him. Will miracles happen and will they meet again?
1. Chapter 1

Rose's POV  
There are blankets all wrapped around me, but I'm still cold. I can't feel anything but my heart, which is broken into a million pieces. Jack is gone Rose, and he is not coming back. he slipped trough my fingers. I can still feel our hands holding each other, and I can still hear and smell him. I have to go on. For him. I need to live for him and never let go, but now i'm feeling lost. It hits you, it really does. Not the water, but the heartbreak. Knives stabbed me all over my heart leaving me nothing but holes that will recover with scares. Scars that will never disappear. When I look to my right I see a mother holding her child, crying but meanwhile trying to comfort her daughter. There is also a man with something in his hand. It mught be a light or something. He is trying to get attention, to save us. It is almost morning, the sun is almost up. But for me the sun will never shine as bright as when I was with jack. I miss him more than anything in the world. I miss every single part of him. The way he made me feel insde is indicribeable. He made me feel like I didn't have to think about anything but only the moment we were in.  
'To make each day count.'  
His words start to repeat in my head. No! I don't want to think about him!. I close my eyes trying to make my mind clear, not to see al the scared and sad people around me. But sooner or later i get interrupt by a man's voice. My eyes shut open and I see the man with the light in his hands (also the man who took me out of the water) screaming. 'Come about!, he screams, S.O.S'. It is true, we are saved.

'Give me your hand miss.' The man from the lifebout helps me to get on the ship. I take his ahnd and he pulls me up. My body is paralyzed and i can't stand on my legs. I fall into a woman's arms. She pulls me up. 'Ow girl how awfull, don't worry I'm gonna help you.' She gets me trough the over crowded deck filled with people who are staring at the others being brought aboard, maybe some are waiting for their loved ones. A man puts a cup in my hand, filled with a hot liquid. Everything happens in slow-motion. 'Here you go miss, you can sit over here. I fall on a wooden bench still so weak, still in a shock. I look at all the people who are crying, I hear people screaming and I feel pain everywhere. I see a woman rushing towards me. 'Please, she says, have you seen my man? Brown curled hair, green eyes. Uhm he was wearing a hat, a black one. Please tell me where he is!' I shake my head.

I'm sitting here for a couple of hours, till I hear someone yelling my name. 'Rose!' It's a man's voice. I look over my shoulder and see.  
Cal.  
I see Cal searching for me. He is alive and there is barely nothing wrong with him. the coward. I turn my head back quikly, but it is too late. He has noticed me already.

Jack's POV  
'Doctor, he is awake!' I can hardly open my eyes, and everything hurts. 'Oh boy you made it!' a man says. The only thing I can think about right now is. Where am I? and... Where is Rose? My body freaks out. Where is Rose? My Rose? My lips are trying to form her name. 'Rose.' I say. My voice is almost gone and it hurts. 'Where is Rose?' I repeat. 'What do you mean? Who is Rose?' 'Rose Dewitt Bukater.' I say. 'Sorry boy but we don't know anything about a Rose. You came here all by yourself.' That's impossible. Rose was with me. I shake my head. 'No doctor you don't understand it, Rose was with me.' 'You came here alone sir.' he says. This can't be true, this must be a mistake. 'Okay boy, I'm going to do some tests with you, Just to know for sure you are in a good state.' I shake my head again. Never I've felt so lost, or felt so much pain. 'Listen, doctor please, I give all my power to just speak, a girl with red curls, she was laying on uh... uhh a door!' Even my brain isn't working. My boddy is getting a huge rush. Please let Rose be somewhere! 'Maybe in another room?' the doctor shakes his head. 'I'm sorry sir, you came here all alone. I think there is no Rose. But please take some rest now, you are in a very critical condition.' NO! Rose isn't dead! She promised me that she would never let go! I feel I'm getting angry. Maybe they are crying! 'No!'I scream. 'Please sir you need to take your rest.' My whole body freaks out, and I'm trying to get out of my bed. 'can I get some help over here?!' I hear the doctor screaming. People are staring at me with scared faces and other doctors are running towards me. Then. Everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose's POV  
'Rose?!' Cal noticed me. My heart stops beating. Please don't come any closer I think. I wanna run away so fast to nowhere just to know for sure that they'll never have to see me again. But I can't. I'm too weak. He is waling towards me and kneels right in front of me.  
'Oh God look at you!, he says while taking of my blankets, you look horrible. I don't response. I'm just looking at the ground with a feeling that Jack is about to come any moment to save me from Cal. What if the lifeboat came earlier? would Jack be here now holding me in his arms? 'Rose, look at me!' He yells and it makes me scared. I still try to ignore him. 'You are hopeless! I'm getting Ruth she is more then worried about you!' He walks away. You can go now Rose! Come on stand up, don't be such a coward. I fall back, Why is this impossible?

'There she is Ruth!' 'Oh Rose!, mother starts hugging me, you are alive! did you get in a boat right on time?, she strikes her hand trough my hair, look how dirty you are! come with us we got a room on this boat, you can take a warm bath.'Please stop talking alright I think. Just go and leave me alone. I shake my head. 'No, I say, please leave me alone mother. My voice sounds horrible. 'Rose look at me!, her voice is getting angry, you are coming with us do you understand me?!' 'No, I say again, I don't want you stupid shower or whatever you can offer me.'Cal starts to interfare with the conversation. 'You just can't stay here then getting of the ship and become nothing in this world! You don't even have money.' 'Who says that you need to have money, Cal?' 'Oh Rose, don't be so childish. We are engaged remember? We are getting married, a laugh interrupts him, and by the way where is that little boy of you then?, My eyes are filling them with water, what I was thinking. He left you, didn't he?' If I had the power to just punch him, I would have done it already. 'Rose, you know that I'm the only man who's good for you.' He strikes my cheek. Tears are rolling over my face. 'No!, please leave me alone!' Cal grabs my arm. 'Don't be such an idiot! you are coming with us now!'

Jack's POV  
I'm feeling a bit calmer and I can breath a bit normal, unless it hurts so bad. My whole body is in a shock. I can sleep a bit, but I'm thinking about rose all the time. Why her? why not me? She was a survivor which I loved, I still love her and I always will. She is dead jack. I feel tears burning on my cheek but I can't see them. 'Jack, Jack wake up, Jack?' My eyes shut open. The doctor is standing next to my bed. 'Finally you are calm now.' he says. I sigh. 'What's wrong with me doc?' 'Listen Jack, I have not the best news for you, you are still in a critical condition like I said. It's not easy to recover from hypothermia, most of the people die. God bless you boy that you made it we still don't know why. But where was I... oh yeah. after the ship will dock, we are bringing you to a hospital where you can recover. Because you might have lost almost all your possessions, we made an arrangement that you can stay at a recover house in Philadelphia till you have some money. Is that alright for you Jack?' I nod and take a deep breath. 'Thank you doctor.' 'You are welcome Jack, I'll come back to you later.'

Rose's POV  
I can't believe they found me. I'm feeling horrible and now I know I have to marry Cal, The hole in my heart gets bigger. I promised but how can I keep the promise if I know that I have to share the rest of my life whole stole it, my dreams and the only man who has my heart. Cal opens the door, and as I come in I see everything so big and so luxurious. What was I expecting? A simple room with just a bed and a toilet? Plenty of people lost everything that they owned. But no, my family has to be selfish again to get one of the biggest rooms aboard. I can't tell how much I disgust it. 'Anne!, I hear mother saying, Anne bring this girl to the bathroom en clean her a bit up, she looks horrible.' 'Yes ma'am.' she replies. Everything goes so fast. Too fast. 'No!, I say, you don't have to help me.' 'Don't worry miss, it will be alright, perhaps you can become ill.' Ill. just wat I want to be right now. I want to be so ill that I die. That I can go to Jack, being with him. Now my life seems to become worser than it was before. After 10 minutes my bath was ready. 'Take some time miss, I'll be back in 30 minutes.' I take of all my clothes. Mother was right, I look so dirty. But for some reason I really don't care. Slowly I put my left foot into the warm water. My body gets in a shock and I feel I want to cry because it hurts. I'm used to the cold water. Rose don't be a coward. I also put my right foot into the water and in no time me whole body is underwater. Calm down Rose, relax your body. You are safe now. I try to say to myself. I'm still fighting to hold my tears back. 'I promise, Jack that I'll never let go.' I whisper. 'Never let go of what?' I hear a hard and cold men voice behind me. I turn my head and I see Cal coming in. 'Nothing.' I say quikly. Takes a stool and sit next to me. 'Listen, Rose, I know you are upset now about that kid, but it is better now.' What? How can he sat something like that? Better? Everything starts to get worser and worser. 'Maybe you wanted to have some fun. I can understand you may be extremely nervous for our wedding, but now it is over with all that rubbish behavior do you understand me Rose?' Tears are falling down my face. 'That kid wasn't good for you, neither for us.' 'Go away Cal.' I say. 'Rose you should be thankful for everything I have done for you, I have saved your family! And if you ever say his name again, I'll make sure you you'll never even want to say his name anymore!' He hurts my arm. 'SHUTUP!' I scream. My body feels dead and I start sobbing. I hear someone talking to Cal. 'Please sir, I will take care of her. She is upset now and needs some rest.' 'You better will.' i hear cal say. Soft hands are touching my shoulders. 'Please miss, calm down, I'm with you. Everything is alright.

Anne layed me in bed with a warm blanked. I wanna close my eyes, but everytime I do flashes of Jack are starting to crash my brain. His eyes, his smile, his voice. One day we'll be back together. I hope you'll wait for me. I hear someone knocking on the door. 'Rose, are you there?'

Jack's POV  
I've been coughing and sneezing for almost the whole day. I never felt so sick in my whole entire life. The doctors are worried if I'm gonna make. 'Are you Jack Dawson?' a girl is coming to towards me. I nod. 'Well good for you then, I have fresh homemade soup.' She is small, blond and she has sweet soft voice. 'Thank you very much miss.' 'Just call me Anne I hate it when people say miss, it makes me feel so old.' she laughs. 'Well thank you Anne, by the way do you work here? I haven't seen you here till now actually,' 'Yeah, I don't really work in the infirmary, I just help here sometimes when they need a hand more like now, just to earn some extra money for my family. Now I work for some first class people who survived the sinking. Their daughter is in a real shock so I help her the most, she sighs, poor her she is really upset about something.' 'Very nice of you that you help her then.' 'Thank you, do you uh have uhm actually any relatives left here?' My heart stops beating. Why, why does she have to say something like this? My eyes ar getting filled with tears. Rose, my beautiful Rose. 'Ow, she says, I'm so sorry. I - I didn't mean to be rude I...' 'It is okay, I take a nip of my soup, you couldn't know that.' She nods. 'If I can do anything for you, just tell me okay?' 'Thanks Anne.' She gives one little smile and walks away. I still don't want to accept that Rose is dead. Deep inside I feel like she can just walk in any minute, but that would never happen. I close my eyes and I fall in a deep sleep, feeling the warmth of my soup in my hands.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose's POV  
'Who is there?' I ask. Slowly I hear that the door is opening. 'Good afternoon, Rose.' I turn my head and I see Mr. Andrews standing in my room. 'Mr. Andrews!, I stand up and run towards him. He gives me a hug, you survived!.' This is the only good thing that has happend since the sinking. Mr. Andrews survived, the only one who listend to me when I was sad. 'So how are you?' 'He asks. 'I'm so glad to see you mr. Andrews.' He doesn't response. 'Where is he now?' He asks with a hopeful voice. I start crying. 'It is okay, I'm here. Shall we sit down?' I nod. As we sit down, I start crying even harder. 'H- he- he is dead. We laid there on s-some wood, but the bo- boat c-came to late. I miss him Mr. Andrews, I miss him so much! And I don't want to Marry Cal, I hate him!' 'I know that Rose, and I wish I could do something for you.' 'It is okay, I say, nobody can do a thing. I-I just have to accept that it is over.' 'You know that you can always come to me when you want to talk, young Rose?' 'I know that Mr. Andrews, thank you. But where are you going when the ship docks?' He gives a little smile. 'With you, I'll help prepare things for the wedding. I'm just around whenever you need me.' I hug him. 'Stay strong young Rose and move one. I think that is also what Jack wants.' I nod. That is exactly what he wants. I wipe my tears away. I'm gonna make him proud, I'm gonna ride horses on the beach like he told me. I sigh. 'You are right, I say, that is exactly what he wants.' He smiles. 'The ship will dock tomorrow so make sure you are rested beacause we are going to Philadelphia immediately as we get of the ship. 'I promise.' I say. I'm feeling a bit more postive right now. Jack was also possitive about everything he even moved on when his parents died. And if he would see me all depressed, he would probably be mad at me. But the next morning, all my positivity was gone. I didn't sleep good and my head hurts very badly. 'Good morning miss.' as I walk into the living area, I see Anne cleaning the table for breakfast. 'Good morning Anne, well you seem very happy today.' She giggles. 'A bit. I also work at the ships infirmary, I nod and I sit down on the sofa, there is a boy who lost his family so I want to take him around the deck today, just to let him think about other things.' 'That is so sweet of you Anne.' She laughs. 'Thank you miss, if you want you can join us. I bet you'll him too. He is really sweet and also good-looking .' She winks at me. I laugh my pain away. Now everyone is bad-looking for me except Jack. Did he ever know I loved him more than the whole world. I have never known how much your life can change in such a short period of time. 'Oh Anne, don't count on me. I am not...really in the mood. It sounds that you like that man, so have a good time.' 'Okay miss, but if you change your mind you can come.' I nod and I take place on the table. I can't eat a thing, and if I would my body would beg me to spit it out. 'Please Rose, mother begs me, please just eat something, only if it is just an apple.'I shake my head. 'Sorry mother, excuse me.' I stand up and I walk to the hallway.

Jack's POV  
'Goodmorning Jack.' Anne says. 'Good morning.' 'How do you feel?' 'A bit better, I say, My troat still hurts and Im still a bit dizzy.' 'Then I have a good medicine for you.' I see her taking some thing. 'What is that?' I ask. 'A wheelchair, she smiles bright, being inside the whole time doesn't make you feel any better I guess, so what do you think of getting some fresh air? I have a really thick coat for you so you don't have to worry that you are gonna be cold. 'Good idea.' I nod. Laying in bed all day kills me. And maybe it is a good Idea to not think about Rose for a second. 'Here let me help you.' She takes my arm and pulls me in the wheelchair. 'Don't forget the coat.' She says. The coat is really warm, just like a shield. Okay Jack, are you ready?' 'lets go!'

Anne is really nice. She told me about how she grew up, how her parents died and how she moved on. 'Well Jack, what about your life, I really don't know anything about you, except for your name.' 'I come from a small town called, Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. I grew up there. Untill I got the age of fifteen. My parents died by a car accident, and I had no close family living nearby, so I just packed my bags and I haven't turn back since. I worked place to place as an artist to just earn some money for my next stop. When I was in Italy I met my bestfriend... Fabrizio. We have traveld together trough Europe on our way to Southhampton not knowing I should return back to America. I won my my tickets for Titanic with some poker, 5 minutes before she set sail.' 'Well Jack, what a live do you have. Seriously, I have never met someone with such a past like yours,. And where is your friend now?' I actually haven't really thought about Fabrizio untill now. I have only thought about Rose. 'I don't know, but he might be dead.' 'I don't really get it anymore Jack, you siad that you lost someone, but now you don't even know?' I sigh. 'I met her onboard of Titanic but she dies okay? now happy to know that?' I have to fight for my tears. 'Sorry Jack, I didn't know it is so hard for you to talk about her, I bet she was very special to you, wasn't she?' I nod. 'More than anything in the world, she was beautiful in every single way, an awkward silence interrupts our conversation, can you bring me back please? I'm feeling a bit tired.' 'Alright Jack.'

Rose's POV  
I'm walking around the deck for about fifteen minutes, making my mind clear of all my sad thoughts. But it doesn't really help. Jack spins around my mind every second. 'Why have you changed me so much? How could you make me feel so in love with you?' I whisper hoping to get an answer, that would never come. When I look to my right, I see a sign. 'Carpathia's Infirmary.' Now you have only one chance, only one. Now you can find out if it isn't a mistake. Maybe he is alive! How? I don't know, but I just can't accept the fact that he is gone. I take a deep breath. Take this chance Rose. I take another deep breath and I walk inside. Plenty of people are laying in bed with loved ones beside of them, praying for one more chance. I can smell the fresh alcohol and medicines. It is horrible. I can feel al the pain and fear that they might have. Where are they going if the ship docks? Are they going to make it? I see a mother, holding the hand of her daughter who is fighting for her life. I wish I could replace that girl. 'Can I help you with something miss?' A doctor is standing in front of me. Please, please tell me that there is a man named Jack Dawson. Please tell me that he is here, that he is alive and that I can hold him in my arms as long as I want to. But instead of asking I shake my head. 'No thank you doctor, I can do it on my own.' 'Of course ma'am.' I just couldn't ask him. I'm too scared that he would say that he is really dead. I can better finf out myself. I look everywhere but there is no Jack. There are only 4 empty beds but I know for sure that neither of them is Jack's bed. Slowly I start to accept that it is really over. I can't hold my emotions and I start crying. All our memories come into my head all at once. I'm sobbing and my heart is falling into a million small peaces. I turn around and leave the infirmary.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack's POV  
Anne helps me to get in my bed. 'I'm sorry Anne,' I appologize. 'For what?' 'Well for how I replied, it wasn't really nice while the only thing you want is helping me. 'It is alright Jack, I don't expect you to be happy or hide your feelings, if you don't want to talk about her if you not want to. It is important now to take your rest. The ship will dock tonight. You are going to the hospital am I right?' 'Yeah that's right and, after that I'm going to a recovering center or something, but I rather to just be on my own.' She smiles. 'You are an interesting man, Jack.' 'But where are you going?' I ask quikly. 'Just working for the same family as for who I'm working for on the ship right now, trying to pep up their daughter, she sighs, I don't know what is going on in her mind, she cries literally all the time. Really sad though, poor her. I also asked if she wanted to come too, I bet you two can get along very well, but she rejected my suggestion.' All her words are flashing through my mind and I can't get them in the right place. 'I hope she'll get better soon.' I say to let her stop talking. 'I hope you too Jack.' and she leaves the room. How will I ever be alright losing the love of my life? How will there ever be a day when I don't think about her? My body feels weak and I can barely breath normally. My body is still in a shock of the cold water. I swallow my pain away and look around the infirmary, still seeing people fighting for their lives.

Rose's POV.  
It is time, time for the Carpathia to get in the harbor of New York City. It is evening and when I look out of the window in my bedroom I can see the statue of liberty. The lights are shining endlessly and bright over the street ffor people to find their way back home. 'Rose, darling, I hear my mothers voice from the main room, do you have everything? And please stay with Cal from now on alright? It may be a chaos with all those people to get of the ship, so I want you to stay with Cal. I nod. At first I can't stand hearing my mother calling me 'darling'. Second, I will never have everything. There will always be something missing. Jack. And last, being with Cal would bring more chaos than being on my own. I'm wearing a simple red dressnot with all the special dreads and diamonds or whatever you can apply on a dress, but the corset is killing me. 'Cal?' I ask softly. 'Yes I'm here sweet pea, he replies, come we are going to the decks, it might be busy with all thos people, but trust me, we will get off the ship as one of the first ones.' He winks at mother. His attitude makes me sick, hundreds of people died, and more than half of them are still laying in the middle of the North-Atlantic. And the only thing he wants is to get of the ship as soon as possible to go to his warm home and drink some brandy joined by his friends, sharing their brands of cigars. I swallow my pain away.

As soon as we got on a deck, doctors and nurses were rushing by, pushing stretches. Some coverd with white sheets covering a dead body. And some with just patients. 'Don't look at it Rose, it is horrible.' Cal pulls me to him, not letting me watch the streches. 'How sad.' He says. Turning my head moe to another direction. 'I can still decide by myself if i want to look or not.' I say hoping he'll stop touching me. 'Oh believe me Rose, this is not something you see everyday.' Turning his head back to the streches. My eyes fill with water. I laid in the middle of the ocean not more than 3 days ago, surrounded by dead people. Including Jack. So how can he say that? I try to hold my tears back, to be strong. 'Hey, you there!, I hear Cal screaming, are you in charge of this ship?' A man turns around and walks toward us. 'Uhm yes why? Can I help you with something sir?' 'I think you can, he grabs something out of his pocket. Money, Can we make a deal?, he reaches the money to the guy, get us of the boat right away and this will be yours. We don't want to be here any longer. And this girl needs some good rest.' He looks at me. 'Oh stop it Cal. We have already got a room so is it so hard to just wait till it is our time to get off?' He laughs and it scares me. 'Rose oh Rose, you still don't know how the world works, do you? but it is alright. By the way it is raining.' I didn't even notice that it was raining. I look at my coat. Soaking wet. Even my hair is sticking around my face in dreads. But I don't care. I see the guy is hesitating. 'Alright then, he says, follow me.' 'Ruth!, Cal screams, follow us! I fixed it!.' We followed the guy to our way out. And he did it. we got off the ship as one of the first ones. There are cars waiting for us, to bring us home. For me it's more like bringing me back to a prison, to complete my punishment. 'Get in the car Rose, mother says, it is freezing cold out side. Now get into the car.' I swallow and I gather all my courage. I take one step into the car and then my whole body. It feels warm but stiffling. 'Thank you Jack, I say to my self, thank you for everything you've done for me. For fighting and loving me. Now I'll fight for you till my heart stops beating. I love you Jack Dawson forever and always. I'll never let go.' I close my eyes to dream of him.

Jack's POV  
'Jack, Jack wake up, Jack.' I slowly open my eyes and I see Anne standing in front of me. 'Sorry for waking you up, she says, but we are taking you of the ship right now. The ambulances are waiting to bring you to the hospital. By the way it is raining, so I need you to wear a coat. C'mon I'll help you.' I nod trying to keep my eyes open. I'm extremely tired and I want to sleep for days. I get up straight in bed helping her to get my coat on. As soon as I'm done, I fall back. She looks worried. 'You are really tired, aren't you?' I nod. She smiles. 'Well sleep as long as you want then, you'll probably notice if we are getting you in the ambulance.' I nod again, having my eyes closed. She puts my blanket around me and I hear her footsteps disappear. A couple of minutes later I feel like I'm moving. They are taking me of the ship. I hear people talking and yelling, but I just can't open my eyes. Flashes of Rose get into my mind everywhere. Wake up Jack! Wake up! I try to fight against the flashes and it works, my eyes shut open. 'It is okay Jack, I see Anne, we are in the ambulance. They are gonna take you to Philadelphia's Hospital. Good for you cause I'll also stay in Philedalphia. I'll try to visit you whenever it's possible.' In one way I'ma glad that i have someone to visit me so i don't have to think about Rose for a minute, but on the other way I walso want her to leave me alone for a moment. It may sounds hard, but it is. God dammit Rose! Why you? You promised me! tears are filling my eyes, but I try to hold them back. I just want to get out of this ambulance and run away, just too continue my journey. 'Are you alright Jack?' Anne asks. 'Yeah I'm just feeling weak.' 'Try to get some rest then, I'll try to visit you tomorrow, I'm staying in town.' She gives me one last smile and walks away. 'Uhm Anne?' 'Yes?' 'For how long do I have to stay in the hospital?' 'I don't know Jack, but seeing your volition, I think not too long.'

Anne's POV  
I know him not longer than 3 days and somehow I do have kind of feelings for him. His innoncent face, his wisdom about the world. It get sme in some way. I want to see him everyday and make him happy. I know it will be hard cause he lost his his love, but in some way I think he'll get over it soon. I walk to the car where the family is waiting. It is pitch plack outside and the rain is making me shudder. 'Anne, hurry up!' Ruth or should I say Mrs. DeWitt Bukater with an annoyed voice. 'I'm sorry ma'am.'I say while getting into the car. 'This behavior is not pleased in our company Anne. What took you so long?' 'Sorry ma'a, I-.' 'Stop talking so loud! can't you see Rose is sleeping?' I nod. 'My apologies.' I see Rose is holding herself tight trying to make her self save for some reason. I'm still so sorry for her, and I really want to help her but I have no idea whats goin on in her mind, what she feels. I don't understand how she makes it in this family. She is os nice and compasionate while Ruth and Cal are, can I say it? Yes I can. heartless people. 'She must knocked out.' Cal says, looking at Rose. 'Well that is not so weird after having, shall I say busy days with.' 'I don't want to hear his name ever again Ruth. He is dead and he will also be dead for her. I'm sure he will, no matter what I have to do about it.' I don't get the whole conversation. What man are they talking about? 'Anne?, Ruth asks me, when we arrive make Rose's bed ready, she needs to take her rest.' I nod. 'Yes ma'am.' I look outside, watching the pouring rain ticking on the window. I wonder how Jack is feeling right now...


	5. Chapter 5

Rose's POV  
I feel something burning trough my eyes, and I slowly try to open them. I'm laying in a big bed surrounded by soft pillows. I'm in my old room. Everything is so big and clean. How did I get here? I get out of my bed and I walk to my big window. I used to sit here when I was sad, when I just wanted to run away. I still want to run away, but I can't. I know for sure that they will find me, one way or another. I'm home. I'm back in Philadelphia locked up in my former nightmare, but now even worse. 3 days until our engagement party and 4 months until our wedding. *Knock, knock* I hear someone is knocking on my door. "Miss Rose?' I sigh. Thank God it isn't Cal or mother, but it is a sweet soft voice. Anne. 'Come in.' I say. 'I have breakfast for you miss, it is scrambled eggs with some fruit and a cup of tea. I thought I should bring it to you cause you might be very tired.' Anne is really sweet, either mom or Cal would never do this for me, they never did actually. Even if I was sick, mother just sent a budler to take care of me because she was too busy with God knows what. I smile. 'Oh Anne, that is so nice of you, but it isn't your job to take care of me.' 'Well, she sighs, it actually is, I work for your family now.' I take the plate and I put it on my bed. 'Thank you.' I say. Anne walks to the door. 'Wait, if I can help you today with some things just ask me alright?' 'Well, you don't need to miss, cause I'm going to the hospital. It is a kind of my job just to earn some extra money for my family.' 'And what exactly do you do there then?' 'Helping sick people, a smile appears on her face, now there is a boy named Jack and I have to take care of him. He is the boy o-' My heart stops beating. 'Uhm well Anne, I think you can better go then.' Tears are burning behind my eyes. 'Rose? are you al-' 'Yes, I'm totally fine, I, I- nothing's wrong, just exhausted and hungry.' 'Do you have to cry, miss?' I smile and shake my head. She nods 'Uhm well enjoy your meal.' She leaves and now I'm all alone in my room. Eating is on eof the last things I want. I can't help it not to contain my tears. My body fills with anger and I look at the scrambled eggs laying peacefully and steamy on the with blue embossed plate. 'AAAAA.' I grab the mug filled with tea and smash it on the floor. 'WHY?' I sob while falling on the ground. Am I alive isn't this just a horrible dream? No it isn't. 'Rose?! Rose are you there?' My door swipes open and I see Mr. Andrews standing in the doorway. 'Ow God Rose, he runs towards me and kneels next to me, ow Rose, sshhht, I'm here.' I can't stop crying. I look at him with my red watery eyes. 'I miss him so much.' I say with a shivering voice. 'I know Rose, I know.' I'm feeling a bit more save knowing Mr. Andrews is with me. It feels like he is always been my father, so sweet and caring. 'I can't do it Mr. Andrews.' 'What can't you do?' 'Marrying Cal. I can't give my heart to him, he took everything away from me!' 'I wish I could do something for you, young Rose, Mr. Andrews says, maybe I have an Idea.' 'What?' I ask. 'Why don't we just make a memorial for Jack? In the garden. Where you can go whenever you want.' Did he really just say that. Does anyone finally except my love for Jack. I take a deep breath. 'But, I try not to cry anymore, but mother and Cal, they will never allow it.' 'They don't have to know this. Our secret?' His innoncent caring voice makes me calm inside. I nod. 'We'll just wait till they leave the house or something.' He winks at me. 'I'm sorry young Rose, that I have to go now. I'll try come back today. Take care and remember that I always have a listening ear for you.' I hug him. As he leaves I walk back to by big window. Something in me says that I'm not finished telling Jack how much I love him. I draw a big heart on the fogged window. I turn my head to the desk, where I see some paper waiting to be written. I'm gonna write it, I'm gonna write Jack a letter!

Jack's POV  
I've been in the hospital for 3 days, not feeling any better. Anne visits me everyday trying to cheer me up with some fresh fruit and a good mood, but it doesn't really help that much. Rose pops into my head every minute or should i say second. Her smile, her voice, I can even smell her sent. I look at the big clock hanging on the wall. Half past 3 in the morning, and I haven't closed an eye yet. It is is dark and cold, quiet and sad. Int the past few days I haven't been out of bed once. I make my mind clear, and all of a sudden I'm sitting straight up in bed. My feet on the ground. They are feeling cold but free. I slowly walk to the hallway. My throat feels like it can explode every second, but just laying in bed makes it even worse. 'I'll never let go.' The last sentence I heard you say. The sound of those promising words that you told me has been soaked up in my mind. Consuming my every thought. 'Sir, sir.' I hear someone behind me knowing that he wants to tell me that I have to go back. I want to go outside, smell the fresh air. I want to draw. Man that is something I really want, besides Rose. He grabs me by my arm. 'Sir, what are you thinking? that you just can leave in the middle of the night? It is terribly cold and you are sick! C'mon I'll bring you back.' 'No doc, I'm completely fine. I just need some fresh air.' 'I don't really think so.' He is right. My mind says I'm strong, but my body holds me back. 'I just want t-.' 'Tomorrow sir, you can go outside, but not now.' As soon I know I'm laying bak in my bed again. Prepared for another lonely night. A night without Rose.

Rose's POV  
'So that day was horrible. I couldn't do anything but thinking about you. About us. About how our future should have been if you would have survived. Cal was dragging me from place to place, like a horse to a carriage, letting me talk to people I hadn't seen in my entire life, I haven't notices yet that small are filling my eyes. Small little tears with so many emotions, I looked really stupid so I think you have laughed actually, I continue, I try not to cry, to be strong beacuse I know you want that. But it is hard. It is hard missing someone so much. I never thought that I could miss someone so much, and I also never thought that I could fall so deeply in love. I can still remember how I felt when I went to steerage, I was so scared about the idea that might find me a creep or an attention seeker by wanting to jump myself of the ship, I smile and slowly all the tears are falling down my face, I love you Jack Dawson. You will always have my heart, until it stops beating.' This is it. I look at the stone, formed into an imaginable heart. Jack's memorial that mr. Andrews and I made yesterday morning in the back of our garden. Not a place where mother and Cal come a lot. 5 pages of words right out of my heart for Jack. It is a cold saturday morning. No one is awake except for me. I couldn't close an eye because my brain got attacked by horrible thoughts. Last night was horrible. Strange people came to look at my engagement ring telling Cal that he has a wonderful taste buying me such a thing. Well I disgust it. My hair is tight up in the same bun as last night, just with some lose dreada of hair peeking out of it. My peaceful time get interrupted by a shrill voice. Mother. I stand up and rush to the other side of the backyard. 'Oh God Rose, I've been searching for you the whole time! Why are awake so early? and your hair?!' 'I was awake very early so I just requierd some fresh air.' 'Well it is freezing. Come back inside, fix your hair and I'll assure breakfast will be ready.'  
My hair is horriblt tangled. My brush slides trough my velvet red hair. Flashbacks of the night Jack brought me back pop into my head. Offering his warm coat, smelling exactly like him. 'I don't want to be responsible if you ge sick.' He said after I rejected the coat, so he just laid it over my shoulders. My lips begin to form the song he taught me that night. 'Come Josephine in my flying machine-' 'Going up she goes, up she goes, I see Anne coming into my room, I love that song!' 'Ow hi Anne.' I say. 'Good morning miss, uhm I need to say that if you are ready, you can come downstairs for breakfast.' 'Thank you Anne.' She nods and leaves my room. I start to braid my hair into a frensh braid and when I finished I make my way to the dinner room.  
'So sweet pea, I want to talk about our honeymoon, Cal says, we haven't really spoken about that right?' 'Right.' I say. He continues his mindless chatter. 'Well, I was thinking about something different, like Paris or-' 'We went to Paris last year remember? where I met you.' I interrupt him. 'Oh Rose, mother says, we didn't went to anything. I think Paris is a lovely idea, Cal.' 'Come on sweet pea, I know you love France!' I look at my plate. I want to start crying so badly, but I can't. I am weak if I cry. 'Why don't we just stay in America?, I suggest, we can go on a road trip to from Los Angeles to uhm Chippewa Falls! We can ride horses on the beach if we want to and go Ice-fishing as well!' Mother lays down her silverware and looks at Cal with big confusing eyes. A dead silence enters the room, but sooner Cal fills it with laughter. 'Rose, do you even know where Chippewa Falls is? And do you know the distance between those two places? hahaha and riding horses on the beach? you are not a cowboy, Rose.' 'Rose you've always been afraid of horses, don't be absurd.' Mother says. I can't take all those words. 'I haven't been afraid of horses once! And why do you actually ask me things if everytime I suggest something you just dump it behind you like trash! I don't want to go to stupid Paris, I don't want to go anywhere!' 'Rose sit down emediately!' Cal pressumes me. I look at the door hoping that Jack would come in, and hold me in his arms. His strong protective arms. He knew my fire was going to burn out one day if I didn´t break free. He knew me so well, more than anyone has ever known me. He saw me in a different way others do. 'Anne, bring in some more tea!, mother yells to the kitchen, That boy brainwashed completely! What is wrong with you, Rose?!' Mother screams at me. 'I'm not hungry anymore...' I say quickly. This day will end slowly with pain. Another day without Jack. How am I ever gonna keep the promise. I don't know if I can. I don't even know if I want.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack's POV  
I push Kevin's wheelchair to the park. Keving came into my room like 5 days ago, he was hit by a car. He is a 16 year old boy who loves hanging on the street. We have talked a little and now with a broken leg and a bruised wrist I push him to the park for some fresh air. In a couple of days I'm strong enough to leave the hopital, the doctor said this morning. 'Shall we sit there?' I ask. 'Alright.' The fresh air blows trough my hair. I´m still a bit cold and tired, but I´m feeling so much better. It is been 2 and a half weeks ago since the ship sank. Everyday I think about my beautiful Rose. Her face shining in my mind. Well if she isn´t able to make that promise, I´m gonna make it. ´Why did you fall in love with her actually?' Kevin asks. I smile. 'Do you believe in love at first sight?' I ask. 'I don´t know... It is more like you read it in stories than you see it in real life.' 'Well I didn't believe in it too, until I met Rose, I take a cigarette out of my pocket, well I saw her the afternoon before I 'actually' met her. I met her when she tried to kill herself by jumping of the ship.' 'wooow woow what? Jumping of the Titanic? So you saved her?' 'I don't know what you see under saving. It was more that I changed her mind. To thank me, her fiancé invited me for dinner the next day. They were first class and I was third by the way.' 'She was engaged?! but you two you-you were in love!.' Kevin interrupts me. 'They got her trapped and I just wanted her to break free because I just knew she could do it. She told me she wanted to things and not just sir around and do nothing. I loved her because of her passion, her spirit and she was just beautiful in every single way.' 'You smile when you talk about her.' Kevin says. 'I know.' 'Do you miss her?' His words break my heart. 'Every second, I say, but loving someone is not sitting in bed crying all day, I want to make her proud.' 'I'm sorry Jack.' 'For what?' 'That she is dead, I just can see that you were madly in love with her.' 'It is okay, shall we walk further? I've never been in Philadelphia before, just show me some.' He laughs. 'Just walk out of the park and then go to the right, I'll show you my house.' We hear someone calling us from behind. 'Jack! Kevin! What the hell are you going to do?' 'Don't worry doc, I scream back, we are just going for a little walk!' 'No that is impossible!' I push Kevin's wheelchair and we rush out of the park.  
After some minutes we walk in one of the most busiest neighborhoods of Philadelphia. 'So here is where most of the people rush by to go to their work. Especially around this time and like 6 O'clock in the evening, Kevin tells me, if we go into that street it is only 10 minutes from my house.' 'Let's go then.' I response. We walk into a quiet neighborhood with small houses and huge gardens. 'Here it is!' 'Well Kevin do you wanna go inside?' 'We can't, mom is at her work and I don't have the keys. But we can go to the backyard, we have a small basketball field.' 'Cool.' I open the gate and push Kevin into his backyard. 'Can you play basketball?' Kevin asks. 'Mwah, a little. I used to play it with my dad when I was a was a little kid. You have a huge backyard I'm telling you.' 'Yeah I know. Since my parents broke up, mom filled her pain with planting flowers everywhere it's possible.' I shoot the ball in the basketball net. 'Wow you are good.' Kevin says. 'Thanks.' 'Uhm, do you think the doctors will be mad?' Kevin asks nervously. 'Probably.' 'And you are not worried about that?' 'Why would I? You are with me, so nothing can happen, I joke, but if you wanna go back it's fine.' 'Yeah maybe that's a good idea.'

'Jack! My God, where have you been?' 'Hi Anne, I say walking into our room, we just went out for a walk.' Actually this walk made me very exhausted but I just don't want lay in bed the whole time. I help Kevin getting him out of his wheelchair. 'Jack you know this is not allowed, and who knows what could have happened to Kevin.' I sit on my bed. 'I just want to do things Anne, not just sit around.' 'And I can understand that, and it may sound very cheesy from me, but your body is still processing your shock.' 'Well I'm feeling totally fine, Except for the fact that I miss Rose every moment of the day. But I don't want to show it, okay but if you want me to lay in bed all day. Who am I to stop you.' I crawl under the sheets. Feeling exhausted, sad and irritated.

Rose's POV  
'No, this one is with to many details, Looking at the dress Anne is holding, I want to keep it simple.' 'But you are getting married miss!' 'Ow Anne.' I say with a fake smile. Not one of the dresses is beautiful. To many frizzles on each dress. When I was a little girl, I daydreamed a lot about my wedding. My groom smiling bride at me while I walk down the aisle. My dress would open everyones eyes. And the cake would be huge with a lot of sweets and chocolate. I had such a big fantasy. But now all of it is gone. Giving my heart to someone I don't love in front of whole Philadelphia. 'You'll look stunning in what kind of dress, miss Rose.' 'Thank you Anne.' 'Rose, I want you to try these 2 dresses. Anne can you help her.' Mother rushes towards us. She is really stressed about the wedding, or shall I say her stressed about the fact that she wants money and a good family name. I sigh. 'Shall we Anne?' She nods and follows me to the fitting room. 'Here you go miss.' I take the 2 dresses and disappear behind the curtain. They are big and fabulous, but not what I want. I tried one and it felt horrible. They other one is even worse. I don't want all these studs and pearls! I try to get him off, but I can't. 'Anne! Anne! Help me please!' She opens the curtain. I can see her looking confuses trough the mirror. 'What's wrong?' 'I can't get this stupid thing off! EUGH.' 'Calm down miss, I'll help you.' While Anne helps me taking off my dress, I look in the mirror. I look extremely tired. 'Here you go.' I sigh. 'Thank you.' I say. 'Maybe it is a better idea to go home.' I nod. 'Yeah, maybe it is.'

We were quiet all the way home. Mother is probably mad at me because I almost ruined a dress.  
'Look who is here!' Cal is coming over to us as soon as we walk into the living room. 'Hello Cal.' Mother says. 'John may I introduce you to my beautiful fiancé, Rose.' A man stands up from his chair and kisses my hand.' 'John Calvert.' He says. 'Rose Dewitt Bukater.' I response. 'Good to see you again Mr. Calvert.' Mother says. He kisses her hand too. 'Good to see you as well.' 'Mr. Calvert and I were talking about our new business plan, Cal says, so if we work a little harder we can go on a very long trip sweet pea. That is what you like huh traveling.' I nod. But not with you. 'Anne can you make some tea please?' Mother asks. 'Of course ma'am.' 'Oh Anne, I say, I'll help you.' She thanks me and we walk to the kitchen. I take off my hand gloves and throw them aside. 'So, I say, what can I do?' 'You don't love him huh? Do you?' Anne says. 'Excuse me?' 'You don't love him, but you love someone else right?' I can't say a thing. She knows it even when I've told her nothing. 'I-I.' I say. 'I know it is not my business miss to mind with your life, but I just can see it. The way you look at him isn't the way someone looks when he is in love. And when you tried on your dress, you went crazy because you couldn't get it off.' 'It is just.' I take a deep breath. 'You don't have to talk about it miss if you don't want it. But just remember that you're not alone alright.' Tears are falling down my cheeks and the only thing I can do is nod. 'Tea, I say quickly, whipping my tears off, we need to make tea.'

Mr. Calvert is staying for dinner. We ate lobster and dessert is coming.  
'Well Rose, Calvert says, Cal told me this afternoon that you like traveling. What is your favorite place to go?' 'She loves France.' Cal answers. I nod. 'Well, but I also want to do things, like ice-fishing or something.' I say. 'Ice-fishing huh? Interesting. I have done that.' 'Was it fun?' I ask. 'Well, I didn't do it for fun. I was staying at a family because I was traveling around. They didn't have any money so they caught some fish for dinner. It was also really cold though.' Jack has told that it was really cold. When they got him out of the water he needed to take a bath immediately and hot drinks. He was 10. 'Well good for you that you don't have to do it, right Rose?' Mother looks at me with a warning face. 'It is more that you don't let me do it, right mother?' She ignores me and starts about our wedding. 'We have almost picked out a dress for Rose. Because of the sinking some of our money got lost, so we have to buy one instead of letting it design for us.' Her face looks upset. 'Well don't worry Ruth, John says, Rose will be a beautiful bride in what kind of dress.' Something in me says that John is a kind man, but behind that kind face there is a man who only wants money. Everyone around me is the same. Money, a good name, not letting other people do what they really want to do. I stand up. 'Well I'm sorry, I say, I'm going upstairs. I'm feeling a bit tired.' 'But sweet pea dessert still has to come and it is not later than half past eight.' Cal says. 'I know, but I'm not really hungry anymore. Mr. Calvert it's been a pleasure meeting you. Goodnight.' I walk my way out of the dinning room. 'Rose, John says. I turn around. You are coming to the polo match the day after tomorrow right?' I nod and give a fake smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Cal's POV  
'I just don't know anymore what we can do about her behavior.' Ruth says. I nod. 'That kid has to go out of her mind immediately. But how? We can't sent her to an psychologist, she will notice it.' 'But there is no other way! Caledon.' Ruth says. I shake my head. 'There has to be. This isn't healthy. Why did I invite him? Why didn't just give him money?' I silence fills are conversation. 'I'm glad he is dead.' I say. Somewhere deep in my heart I feel that he had something that I can't give to Rose. But I can give Rose thousand things more. He didn't have anything except for a rehearsed speech. I walk around the living room. 'I have got it. John. He took Rose in every word of his ice-fishing story. So why can't he convince Rose's mind?' Ruth nods. 'But I think it's going to harder than we think.' 'But there is no other way Ruth. In 3 months we are gonna get married. 3 months we have the time. Her behavior is not acceptable. Leaving dinner when we are not finished yet, being rude to you.' 'I'm going to bed, Cal, Ruth says, I'll ask Anne to lock the doors.' 'Yes, yes. I'm going to take a look at Rose and tomorrow I'll call John.'  
I walk upstairs and open Rose's door. She is covered up in her sheets. I sigh. That kid has made a total mess of her. I give her one last look and I walk to my own room.

Jack's POV  
'Today is the day, Jack.' Anne walks into my room with a suitcase. I smile. Today is the day I'm leaving the hospital. I'm going to a house with other boys to get me back up, still in Philadelphia though. Anne is helping me packing my bags. 'Okay, so I'll have those 2 shirts a pair of pants and a pair of boots.' I say. 'Are you really sure this is enough for you, Jack. Maybe we can get some more clothes if you want?' 'With what money?' 'Mine.' 'No Anne that is not how it works, I need to earn my own money.' 'Listen Jack it is okay. And by the way how?' 'I'll start drawing again. I used to earn money with it.' 'Really?' I nod and I put my clothes into the suitcase. 'Well if you can draw a portrait of me I'll we pay you so you can get some more clothes.' She laughs. I shake her hand. 'Deal.' I say. 'Good, but shall we go? The taxi is waiting for us.' I grab my suitcase and follow her to the exit. Doctors are wishing me good luck. 'Jack!' I hear someone calling my name. I turn around. 'Hey Kevin.' I say. 'Good luck in your new home and uhm you know where I live so I'd like to beat you in basketball  
One day.' I laugh. 'Of course I'm coming over sometimes Kevin, but are you sure you can beat me?' He smiles. 'I'll practice.' I give him a high five. 'Good. I see you soon Kevin.' 'Bye Jack.' 'I bet you'll like it there, Anne starts a new conversation, the boys are really nice.' 'You know them?' 'Kind of. One of them is a friend of my brother.' I look at the taxi waiting for us. 'You almost know this whole town, don't you?' She puts her head up high. 'Maybe.' She says. I put my suitcase in the taxi. I'm ready.  
'Hey Anne!' 'Hi Simon, nice to see you again.' 'Nice to see you as well.' The guy looks at me. 'And you must be Jack Dawson right?' I nod and shake his hand. 'Nice to meet you man.' I say. 'Simon can you help Jack with his stuff?' Anne asks. 'Of course, c'mon Jack I'll show you your room and then I'll introduce you to the other lads.' 'Alright.' I say and I follow him upstairs. 'Okay Jack so this is your room, you have to share it with Bruce. He is downstairs. The rooms are not that big and we have one separate bathroom that we share. It is that door at the and of the corridor. You can make everything ready and if you want you can come downstairs to meet the other lads if you want.' I nod and trow my suitcase on my bed. 'Nice isn't it?' I see Anne's face sneaking in the doorway. 'Yeah it definitely is, but how long am I required to stay here?' 'Ow Jack no rush, just relax about the fact that you are having a roof above your head for a while now. Everything in time.' Anne says. I sigh. 'I gotta go back now. I see you soon Jack.' 'Bye Anne.' I open my suitcase and put my stuff in the dresser next to my bed. Man I really want to draw right now. Maybe I can go to a store tomorrow. After looking around I slowly walk downstairs. Everything in time? Well everything in this time makes me think more about Rose. I miss her so badly. I want to hold her body against mine and kiss her sweet soft lips. I want to tell her how beautiful she is and how much I love her. 'Hey guys may I introduce you to our new roommate Jack Dawson.' Simon says as soon as I walk into the kitchen. I see 5 guys sitting around a table playing cards. I nod and shake their hands. One guy looks exactly like Fabrizio. 'Welcome Jack.' A guy says with a lot of tattoos and muscles. 'Thanks.' I say feeling a little awkward.

Rose's POV  
'So what is her name?' I ask again with a shudder in my voice. 'Jackie.' The girl says. Nice even Jack follows me in horse figures. I'm at the polo match, escaped from the busy crowed to the kettles were the horses are staying. She looks sweet. A shiny black fur and hazelnut eyes. 'I'm sorry, the girl says, but I really need to make her ready for the game.' I nod. 'Of course.' I say and I take a step back. She looks irritated at me. Praying God that I'll leave. At that moment I hear my name. Oh God can seriously nobody leave me alone? I turn around and I see John walking towards me. 'Good afternoon Rose.' I give a quick smile. 'Good afternoon.' 'What does a lady like you all by herself?' 'Getting some fresh air.' He laughs sarcastically. 'In a kennel full of horses? Come on I'll lead you for a walk.' 'Alright.' I say and he takes my arm. Every time I take a step, my dress gets more and more uncomfortable either do my shoes. 'Well we have chosen a very nice day for this game.' John says. 'We did.' The weather is really good, And the sun shines very bright for this time of the year. 'How old was Jack actually?' I stop walking and look at him with a warning in my eyes. 'Where did he come from?' 'I think I need to head back.' I say quickly. I'm not far away from breaking apart. For crying everything out. But a thousand tears won't bring him back. A thousand prayers neither. 'What? are you afraid talking about him?, John asks, Don't worry I won't say anything to anyone.' 'How d-do you even k-know tha.' 'That there was a Jack? Oh well Cal has told me.' I can't believe all of this. Why do I even have to talk about Jack? 'So well where did he come from?' I take a deep breath. 'Chippewa Falls.' He grins. 'So that is why you wanna go there isn't it? Well believe me Rose, there is nothing interesting about Chippewa Falls. It is cold and abandoned.' Don't cry Rose, don't cry. 'So?' He continues. 'So what?' 'Why him if you are engaged to Cal? I'm mean he knew you were engaged to Cal so why did he make everything so hard for you?' 'You have literally now idea Mr. Calvert, do you?' 'Come on, he says, shall we walk further?' 'No, I say, why would I?' Slowly tears are rolling down my cheeks. 'Sorry I don't want to me you cry.' I shake my head. 'No one does! But they all do! So you are curious about Jack huh? Well he was the only one who understands me! He listened to me without having one single opinion about me! He cared about me and I felt save when I was around him! I love him.' I wipe my tears away because I don't want to look weak, but they just continue rolling down my face. 'I can't marry Cal! I don't even love him. The only one I love is Jack. And it hurts okay? It hurts that he isn't around me! And it hurts that I can't stop thinking about him for one second.' My breath starts to get heavier and scarier. I just said things I even didn't know I wanted to tell them. 'Love.' He says while shaking his head. Anger fills my body. 'Did you even listen to me?! You know Mr. Calvert you are just as all the others. Listening to me to shine up as a gentleman, but then just creating your own opinions about my feelings because you think you are way to good for all those nonsense.' My corset feels like it gets more and more tighter around my waist every time I say something. It pushes all the air out of me and it disturbs my breathing. 'You do not look good Rose, you really need something to drink.' 'Don't touch me, I say, I'm going back to mother and Cal. The game will start any time.' I turn my back to him and walk as fast as I can to the game.  
'Ow there you are sweet pea, where were you?' Cal says as soon as I walk towards him. 'I was just looking at the horses.' 'You look a little pale, are you alright sweet pea?' I nod. 'I'm totally fine.' 'Oh and by the way, Mr. Franklin takes part at the game! How surprising. I've never thought he was able to do this sport.' I give him a grin and a quick nod. As I look at my left, I see Mr. Calvert walking to the game. I quickly turn my head back not to meet his face. What an arrogant man. I'm feeling dizzy and everything in my body hurts. 'Ow look who we've got there! Mr. Calvert what a surprise! Sweet pea I'm going to greet Mr. Calvert for a minute, I'll be right back.' I hear his words entering my mind in slow motion. 'Okay.' I say. I can't even hear my own voice normally. The wind that blows in my hair gives me shivers throughout my body. I can't focus on the game and I see flashes of things disturbing my mind. Jack? Did I just see Jack?! My legs can't hold my upper body anymore and I fall on the ground. I hear people screaming my name, but I can't see them. Jack? Jack are you there? Jack I need you! My mind screams for Jack. Nothing. Nothing but darkness and screaming people.

'Rose!, Rose!, Rose can you hear me?!.' I hear people screaming my name and I want to answer, but I can't. The only thing I see is darkness. No Jack, no Jack at all. Not his smile, not his shiny blue eyes. 'Please give her some space!' 'Rose?!' 'Please someone call an ambulance!' 'Rose?! Rose?!' I can slowly open my eyes. I see Cal. His emotionless eyes stare into mine. 'Ow Rose darling!' Mother says. 2 men help me to sit up straight. 'Rose, you need to go to the hospital right now. An ambulance is on his way.' Cal says. I shake my head, which hurts badly. I can't say anything. I just stare at the grass hoping that Jack will appear one more time. 'The ambulance is on his way!' I see John rushing over. 'Good.' Cal says. Suddenly I start crying, but I have no idea. Well I just passed out in front of a whole crowed. 'C'mon sweet pea, let's go outside you need some rest.' He helps me up and takes me inside. Mother following us.

After 10 or 15 minutes the ambulance arrived. 'Come on sweet pea, let me help you inside.' 'No, I say, I'm totally fine.' 'Rose, they need to check you, don't act so cocky.' Mother says with a snippy voice. ' 'I want to go home.' I say. Cal sighs. 'Rose, you're acting very immature, look at all the people who are staring at us. You can go home after they have checked you.' What would Jack do if he saw me sitting like this? Rose stop thinking about it! Whatever you imagine about him it is not going to happen! I finally stand up and Cal leads me outside. 'We only have to check a couple of things miss, don't worry.' 'But I'm totally fine, I say, there is nothing.' The doctor grins.  
After 5 minutes the doctor is done. 'Well miss, indeed you have nothing but be sure you drink enough and maybe it is better now to go home and take some rest.' I nod. 'Thank you doctor.' Mother sighs. 'Thank God, she says, we are going home right away and I'll ask Anne if she'll make some good food and make a warm bath.' 'I'm fine.' I say.


	8. Chapter 8

Jack's POV  
They've offered me some beer and I joined them in their poker game. 'Damn Jack, you are really good!' 'Well I have done it a lot to just win some money to travel.' 'You are a traveler?' Simon asks. 'Well more a gutter rat. My folks died when I was fifteen.' 'That must have been hard for you, right?' I give him a quick nod . 'It was, I can't say it wasn't. But life is not about being sad of every stupid thing that might happen, that is just life.' 'Well, Bruce says, lets drink on that one.' He grabs some more beer. 'Cheers.' The boys are really nice, but somehow I feel like I don't fit in here. I wanna be free, I wanna travel. I wanna bring Rose with me wherever I go. 'You are alright Jack?' Simon asks seeing me staring at my beer. 'Just a little tired.' He nods. Noah, the guy who looks just like Fabrizio stands up as fast as he can. 'I'm sorry mates! Gotta go, Susanna is waiting for me.' 'Ask her to cook dinner for us tonight!' Simon says. 'I will I will.' The boys laugh and shake their heads. 'Amor, Amor!' Logan, the guy with the tattoos jokes. 'Women... guys enjoy our freedom as long as possible. We don't want to end up as Noah, do we?' Logan, Simon and Bruce can't stop laughing. I take a huge sip of my beer. Can they please shut up?

Rose's POV  
'I'm going upstairs.' I say to mother and Cal as we come home. 'Sure sweet pea, do I need to help you with something?' I shake my head. 'I'm good.' 'Rose, I'll ask Anne if she makes a cup of tea or do you want to take a bath first?' 'Neither, I say, I just want to be alone.' As I walk into my room I close my door. I'm feeling exactly the same as on the night I wanted to kill myself. I want this stupid dress off my body! I want to destroy this horrible corset! 'Get off me!' I scream. I look out of my window with tears who cover up my face. The sun shines bright, but for me it feels like the darkest cloud is hanging above me without going away, without leaving me alone. I rather live my whole life alone than spending it with my family. They've ruined everything I loved or still love. I think it is better to get some rest. I walk to my bed but meanwhile Anne storms into my room. 'Miss Rose!, are you alright? I've heard that you fainted.' I nod. 'But I'm absolutely fine now.' 'But you see a little bit pale and very tired.' 'I turn my head to the mirror. She is right, I look pale and my eyes are all red. 'I'm alright really.' She stares at me. 'No you aren't.' She walks towards me and hugs me. 'It is alright miss, calm down.' 'I try Anne, I try.' 'Why don't you come with me Tuesday. I'll be visiting Jack and the other boys. They are all very nice and I'm sure you'll like them. Meeting other people may be good for you.' I smile. Maybe it is a good idea to meet some other people. It kills me sitting around all day being a properly girl. 'I'd love to meet them.' Except for the fact that one of the boys is called Jack. I walk to my window and look at the sky. I hope that you'll always follow me wherever I go Jack, and I'll always take you with me. 'The weather is so lovely, isn't it.' Anne says. 'It is wonderful.' I say. She sighs. 'I wish I could make you a little bit happier.' My eyes widen up and I turn my face towards her. 'I am happy, I really am.' I hate it to say that when I'm actually not, but thinking that I'm sad makes everything even harder. It makes it harder to think about all the good things that Jack gave me, because I've never been more happy in my life when I was with him. 'What you want miss, but I don't think so. I see how you act so awkwardly around Cal and I can see that you don't love him because you are in love with someone else.' 'Anne I do-.' 'I know I'm just your maid Rose but I want to let you know that you can talk to me if you want to, you need to open yourself a bit more.' 'I'm sorry Anne... I really want to but...' 'But it is hard isn't it?' She interrupts me. I nod. 'Sadly enough it is.'

Tuesday:  
It is early in the morning and I'm already awake. I can't wait to spend some time with other people. A smile appears on my face by the thought that I don't have to stay home all day spending time with Cal and mother and all of our maids. I walk out of my room to the bathroom and take a warm bath. Finally I don't feel scared anymore. Cal and mother won't be around me for the whole day. After I'm all dressed up I walk downstairs where I see Anne in the kitchen. 'Good morning Rose, she says, well you are being very early today.' 'Yeah I couldn't sleep anymore.' She smiles. 'I bet you wanna meet them, don't you?' I give her a quick smile and I look for something to eat. 'Do you want me to make something for you miss?' 'No thank you Anne, and please just call me Rose whenever you want, I don't wanna feel so delicate.' 'I'm sorry.' Anne says. 'So how late are we going?' I ask. 'Hahaha Rose, It is half past eight I don't even think they are awake. I think like in the afternoon or something.' 'Ow.' I say. 'What's wrong?' I sigh. 'It is just that I want to do something different, not being inside all day. Even if it is just taking a walk for 5 minutes doing totally nothing for anyone.' 'Well... we have the whole time today so let's go then.' 'Are you serious?' 'Yeah we will take a walk and maybe more then we head up to the boys.' I smile and walk to the hallway to grab my coat. At that point I see mr. Andrews walking down the stairs with one of the maids discussing things about our wedding. 'Good morning mr. Andrews.' I say. 'Good morning Rose, what are going to do on this early morning?' He nods at my coat. 'I'm going to do some things with Anne today.' He sighs. 'I'm sorry young Rose, but you know your mother wants to pick up you wedding dress today.' God, that was today. I haven't even thought about it. 'Right.' I say and I want to hang up my coat again. 'Come on Rose, have some fun, I'll talk with your mother today.' 'You really want to do that?' He smiles and nods. I hug him. 'Thank you Mr. Andrews!' He gives me a wink and walks away with the maid. Anne walks towards me. 'Are you ready?' I nod. And we walk out of the door.

Jack's POV  
'Jesus Jack, why the hell are you awake so early?' Bruce asks. 'I couldn't sleep anymore and I've heard Kevin is home now so I wanted to visit him.' 'Kevin?' 'Oh yeah a boy who I met when I was in the hospital.' 'Well have fun.' Bruce says while he pulls his blanket over his head.' 'Thanks Bruce.' I say and I walk downstairs. 'Hi Simon.' I say as I walk in the kitchen. 'Good morning Jack. What are you up to?' 'I'm going to visit a friend today and maybe make some drawings I don't know.' 'Well have fun but you know Anne comes over today huh?' 'Oh well I'll try to be home soon, but she won't die not seeing me.' Simon laughs. I grab a banana and walk out of the door. The calm morning sun shines in my face and I make my way to Kevin.


	9. Chapter 9

Anne's POV  
'Come on Rose we are almost there.' She look around finding out where she could be. 'Don't expect to much from it, there is nothing luxurious about it.' She smiles. 'I really don't care.' As we arrive I knock at the door. Simon opens the door. 'Hey Anne come in! And who is this lovely lady?' He looks at Rose. 'This Rose, I'm working for her family.' Rose looks a bit uncomfortable. Simon smiles and shakes her hand. 'Well nice to meet you Rose, I'm Simon.' She gives a quick smile 'Nice to meet you too.' We walk inside and I see Rose's face cheering up. 'What a lovely house do you have.' 'Well thank you Rose.' She walks around. 'It is so small and cozy.' Simon grins. 'Shall I introduce you to the others?' We walk into the living room and I see Bruce and Noah sitting on the couch. 'Rose this is Bruce and this is Noah.' I say. 'Nice to meet you Rose.' Noah and Bruce say. 'Well take a seat.' Noah says. We sit on the couch. 'Don't worry Rose, I say, you don't have to feel uncomfortable.' 'I know Anne, I'm just glad that I can go out.' I smile. 'Good.' I look around to see if Jack is somewhere. But I can't see him. I want to see his smile and the color of his blue eyes. 'Where is Jack?' I ask. 'Ow he was visiting Kevin today, you know that kid from the hospital.' Bruce says. I nod. 'I'm sorry Rose, but I'm sure you'll meet him another time.' She nods. 'Everything by time.' 'So Rose, Simon walks into the room with some drinks and beer, by the way everyone just drink what you wanna drink I'm too lazy to take care of everyone.' He sits down. 'So Rose, where do you live exactly?' Her face gets a worried expresion. 'Well, I live with my mother and Cal.' 'Cal?' Bruce asks. 'Yeah my fiancé.' 'Fiancé?! so you are getting married?!' 'Yes I am.' 'Well congratulationes.' Simon says. 'Thank you Simon.' I see her face getting sad and Noah looks to see it too. She doesn't love Cal, I know it for 100% sure. She loves someone else. I want to help her so badly because she is so nice and caring, but Cal and Ruth lock her up in their world. not in hers. I am going to help her no matter what. 'But when?!' Bruce acts. 'Bruce jesus please she is just here for not even 15 minutes and you are already asking her skin off.' Noah says. 'It is okay, Rose says, In a couple of weeks.' 'Well Rose I wish you all the good years with your man.' Bruce says. She ignores it and grabs a beer. 'So enough about me, what about you?' The boys grin when they see Rose enjoying her beer. I grab another drink because I'm not allowed to drink alcohol. 'Well Rose actually we've been friends since so many years so one day we decided to collect all of our money and buy this kind of house thing. Our lives aren't really intersting except that one from Jack he came here like a couple of weeks ago, nice fella he is.'  
We've been hanging out for a long time it is already getting dark outside. 'Anne?, Rose asks, I think it is better to go home, I'm feeling a little bit tired.' 'Of course, Let me get our coats.' I walk to the hallway and grab our coats. 'Guys, we have to head back.' 'Okay, Simon says, do we have to bring you home?' 'No, Rose says quickly, we'll be fine.' 'Alright. Well it was a pleasure to meet you Rose and we hope to see you soon.' 'You will.' 'Say hi to Jack from us will you?' I ask. 'I will.'  
We are on our way home. 'Thank you Anne, I loved it and they are all so nice.' 'You are welcome. I'm glad you liked it.' 'You see Anne 'this' is what makes me happy. Taking long walks in the fresh air, looking at the stars, not thinking about what should come.' 'You wanna be free, don't you?' She nods. 'So badly, and I was for a while, but now I'm locked up in the same kennel.' 'When?' I ask. She looks up in the sky, attached to the stars. 'When, I was aboard Titanic, She takes a deep breath. I had the best time of my life.' 'A sinking ship?' I ask sarcastically. 'No! It wasn't the ship Anne, i-it it was him.' We almost arrive home. 'Him?' 'Him. I met him on the ship the night I wanted to kill myself.' 'You wanted to kill yourself?' Slowly tears roll down her face. She nods. 'No one ever cared about me, I felt like there was no way out, no one who cared or noticed. So that was the best thing I thought I could do, so I ran towards the back of the ship ready to throw myself off it. But then there he was, he changed my mind and pulled me back over the railing. To thank him Cal offerd him to join us for dinner the other night.' 'That sounds heavy.' 'The next day I went to steerage to thank him, he was third class by the way. I hadn't fellt so nervous in times because he might thought I was crazy or something. But he wasn't. He was true and pure and I can still remember how I couldn't stop staring at him. He told me about his life and how he grew up. And he thought me to make each day coun't no matter what. I can still see him everyday. I never thought I could fall in love so badly.' 'Where is he now?' 'We ended up in the water together, but. She starts crying, he didn't make it.' I hug her. 'He'll be proud.' 'You think?' 'I know for sure. I see how brave you are and how you try to keep everything together.' We walk inside and everything is dark. 'I think I'm going straight to bed, I'm exhausted.' 'Good night Rose I'll see you tomorrow.' 'You too Anne.' I take my way to my own bedroom and fall on my bed.

Rose's POV  
I wake up and look at my clock. Half past 12! I quickly get up. Man I still feel so tired and my head feels heavy, but I had a wonderful day yesterday. And finally I could trust Anne to tell something about Jack. As I walk to the stairs to go downstairs, I hear Cal's voice from his office. 'Rose can you come here for a second?' God please leave me alone! I slowly walk to his office and open the door. 'I'm done with you behavior Rose, and you know that. You know it so good but everytime you do it again.' He turns around so he can face me. 'In only one month you'll be my wife, and I can not except your homeless plans. Do you hear me?' I nod. 'Can't say anything sweet pea?' 'It is that I'll be your wife, but in no way I'll be your doll.' He laughs with anger and stares into my eyes. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain covering my face. 'I'll be sure that you are not able to leave the house again! And I'll also fire that horrible maid of you! You are a scandal for the family!' His words crash into me like bullets. 'I'm a scandal?! You are the one ruining my life you are even the one who tried to kill me with a gun!' 'Sweet pea, that was a mistake and I didn't want to hurt you in anyway but that filth of a Dawson ruined us. Everything we ever were, He lays his hand on my cheek, we can be together again, and we will. We only have to wait a month.' I feel anxiety in every fiber of my body. 'I love that filth of a Dawson, more than you'll ever know.' I push his hand away. 'Leave me alone Cal.' I rush out of the room, downstairs and make my way to the garden. I run up to Jack's memorial and fall on the ground. Crying, feeling dead inside.

Jack's POV  
I open the door and walk inside. 'Jack! Mate where were you yesterday?! and why didn't you come back last night?' Noah rushes towards me. I laugh. 'Don't worry, don't worry. After I spent the day with Kevin I went to the park to draw and fell asleep on a bench.' 'You made some money?' I nod. 'Not much but some.' 'Well you must be starving do you want to eat something?' I smile. 'Man you don't know.' I walk to the kitchen and Simon is reading the newspaper. 'Hi Simon.' I say as I walk in. 'Hey Jack, finally back?' I sit in front of him and Noah gives me some breakfast. 'Thanks.' I say. 'Man Jack you really missed somethinng yesterday!' Simon says. 'Why?' I ask with my mouth full. 'Anne came yesterday and she brought a friend with her. Man that girl was gorgeous.' 'Who was it?' 'Her name is Rose but she didn't tell us her last name.' My fork falls out off my hand and I swallow all the food that is in my mouth. 'You're alright Jack?' I stare at the table and shake my head a couple of times. 'Yeah... Yeah nothing's wrong.' Rose. How I miss her beautiful face, and her soft skin. 'When does Anne comes again?' I ask. Noah shakes his head. 'I don't know, but I don't think it will take forever.' I nod and grab my sketchbook. 'What are you drawing?' Simon asks. 'Oh nothing.' Almost done. I've worked on it the whole night just to make it right. I hear Simon and Noah laughing at me. 'Well Jack you seem very busy with nothing, com'on show us.' 'It's almost done.' I want it to be perfect. Before I notice Bruce grabs the paper out of my hands. It is quiet for a second. 'Man, Jack this good! really really good!' Simon says. Bruce nods. 'I never thought it would 'this' good mate, Bruce brings the paper closer to his face. What is it?' 'It looks like a girl in the ocean or something.' Simon says. I feel my heart pounding in my chest. 'Is it a mermaid or something?' Bruce asks. I grin. 'No, no, no Simon is right.' 'Very creative Jack.' Simon says. 'Thanks.' I grab the paper back to finish it.


End file.
